Ready to Wear Hijab: From Fear to Freedom
Will I Ever Be Ready to Wear Hijab?
One of my biggest fears before taking my Shahadah was wearing the hijab. The idea of covering my head terrified me. I was entering a new world, filled with unknowns about Islam, and the thought of being expected to wear a headscarf weighed heavily on my mind. Out of all the changes I anticipated, this one felt the scariest. I was asking myself: Am I ever going to be ready to wear hijab?
With my Shahadah just around the corner, I couldn’t help but wonder: Will I be accepted? Will people take me seriously?
The Struggle I Couldn’t Say Out Loud
I’m not great at talking about my feelings. I get emotional and often stumble through my words. As the day of my Shahadah approached, I kept everything bottled up. I didn’t tell anyone—not even the man who would soon become my husband. I was embarrassed to admit how nervous I was, especially about hijab. One sentence kept playing in my head: You don’t want to give the wrong impression—you want to be a good Muslim, a good example for both Muslims and non-Muslims. But how could I be, when I was too scared to cover my head? What if I am never ready to wear hijab? The worry, the stress. I couldn’t shake it off.
Eventually, I started dropping subtle hints to my then-husband-to-be—asking about his female relatives, their praying habits, and what they wore. Looking back, I roll my eyes at how much I danced around the topic. If only I’d asked directly, I could’ve saved myself a lot of stress. But, hey—there wouldn’t be a story to tell, right? 😉
A Gentle Push, Not a Demand
Thankfully, he caught on. His response brought tears to my eyes and still touches my heart to this day. He said:
“Look, I’m not expecting you to wear hijab from tomorrow. I would like you to find the love for it yourself—something you truly want.”
I was speechless. It felt like a huge stone dropped from my chest. Like, finally, I can breathe freely. What a loving, gentle, and respectful thing to say. I’ll always be grateful for his words. I believe his words led me to embrace hijab in my own time, with sincerity and love rather than pressure or fear. He gave me the space to grow into it, to ask questions, to explore my faith deeply. That moment of kindness created a safe space in my heart where hijab could blossom—not as a burden, but as a personal choice. His support gave me the confidence to take each step with intention, and eventually, to wear it with pride.
How Ramadan Helped Me Embrace the Hijab
I knew that wearing hijab during the Shahadah was mandatory, and I wanted to honor that moment. My sister-in-law helped me wrap it for the first time. I remember wondering how it would stay in place—was it some kind of magical, modesty-grade superglue? Honestly, that’s what it felt like!
I took a quick glance in the mirror. It looked unfamiliar, and I immediately thought, Oh no, I look so old! But I told myself it was just for the ceremony. I didn’t think about when or if I’d wear it again.
But then came namaz (prayer). That was the first time I was ready to wear hijab and started to feel more natural during prayers. Ramadan 2020 was a turning point. My Shahadah was in November 2019, and by mid-Ramadan, after watching countless Islamic lectures and taking private lessons, I made a decision: I would wear hijab for the rest of Ramadan.
People around me were surprised—but also supportive. When Ramadan ended and I removed it, something didn’t feel right. I missed it. Yet, I still didn’t feel ready to wear hijab full-time. I began a new habit—each Ramadan, I would wear the hijab for the entire month. Deep down, I hoped that one day I’d wear it permanently.
From Uncertainty to Unshakable Conviction
Over time, my mindset shifted. I wore it during Islamic classes too. But every time I took it off afterward, I felt off—almost like I was doing something wrong. People in my community started recognizing me with the hijab, and I felt exposed when they saw me without it. Once, an older man who had only seen me in a scarf recognized me elsewhere, and it felt uncomfortable and overwhelming. It made me realize I was becoming more and more attached to wearing it.
By the end of 2024, the feeling in my heart grew strong: it was time to wear hijab full-time.
I watched other Muslim women and wondered how they did it so naturally. And those adorable little girls in their tiny hijabs—were they being forced? Was this something driven by culture, leaving no room for choice? Maybe in some places, yes. But what I’ve come to realize is that hijab is about strength—specifically, the strength that comes with knowledge and love for this beautiful religion.
Wearing My Faith Out Loud
I know now, hijab isn’t about pressure. It’s about love. It’s about protection. It’s about identity. My family hadn’t yet seen this “new Muslim me,” and that fear held me back for a while. But I decided to move forward, and I felt peace wash over me. The fear had only ever come from a lack of knowledge. When I began to understand the wisdom behind hijab, everything changed.
Now, I wear it with pride. I look at other women—those in hijab, even niqab—and I admire their strength. I feel a sense of belonging. Without hijab, no one knew I was Muslim. I don’t go by an Islamic name. I don’t come from a Muslim community. But with hijab, I wear my faith on the outside. It speaks for me before I even say a word. It tells the world who I am, what I believe in, and what I stand for.
3 Tips to Make Ready Wear Hijab
1. Take Small, Consistent Steps
You don’t have to go full-time overnight if that feels to much to handle. Start by enjoying wearing it during prayer or when you’re attending Islamic events. Then build up slowly. These small steps help you become emotionally and spiritually comfortable.
2. Surround Yourself with Support
Having kind, understanding people around you makes a world of difference. Whether it’s your spouse, a friend, or a sister in Islam, talk to someone who respects your journey. Their encouragement can ease the transition.
3. Educate Yourself
The more you learn about hijab, the more empowered you’ll feel. Understanding the why behind it transforms hijab from something you “have to do” into something you want to do. It becomes an act of love, not fear.
You just need to find answers to your own why. Ask questions, study the Quran, listen to scholars, and connect with sisters who have walked the path before you. The more you understand, the more the hijab becomes not just a symbol of modesty, but a beautiful expression of your devotion to Allah. In’sha’allah.
