Nikah ceremony: Islamic wedding of a New Muslim
From Shahadah to Nikah: New Muslim Lifelong Journey
After embracing Islam and as a New Muslim, I found myself on a journey that led me quickly to Nikah, the Islamic marriage ceremony. Nikah isn’t just a marriage; it’s a profound commitment, marking the sacred union between a man and a woman under the guidance of Islamic principles. What truly surprised me was the sense of urgency to marry soon after my conversion. The idea of holding the Nikah ceremony swiftly, with the possibility of a more traditional wedding celebration later, was unexpected but deeply aligned with the values and teachings of Islam.
The Urgency of Nikah: Protecting the New Muslim
The Mufti (an Islamic scholar) strongly advised that we conduct the Nikah without delaying it. The main reason for the urgency is the belief that, after taking Shahadah, a new Muslim is like a “newborn baby”—all previous sins are forgiven, and a fresh start is granted to all who embrace Islam later on in their lives. It became clear that the primary reason was to protect me as a new Muslim from entering into any haram (forbidden) relationships. Since we were not yet married, any physical contact, even something as simple as holding hands, was considered haram.
I remember my husband’s mother telling me: “You can’t see each other now until you get married. If he calls and tells you he wants to see you, tell him no, okay?” Her protectiveness was heartwarming, as suddenly, so many people were invested in ensuring my Islamic journey was on the right track. We quickly began planning the Nikah, and to my astonishment, everyone was eager to have it the following Sunday—just a week away. My jaw dropped.
A Week to Plan a Wedding: Overwhelmed and Unprepared
Don’t get me wrong I was over the moon things were moving forward I couldn’t wait for us to start living together. But a week? The idea of getting married within a week was overwhelming. My mind raced with questions: What about the wedding dress? I don’t own any modest Islamic clothing suitable for the ceremony. How would I inform my parents, who had no idea about my conversion to Islam or my impending marriage? The thought of calling them with, “Oh, by the way, I’m getting married in a week,” filled me with anxiety. It was a lot to process, and everything was happening so fast.
Sensing my anxiety, my husband and I had a private conversation to break down the process step by step. The first hurdle was figuring out how to tell my family. I was unsure how to approach the conversation, as so much had happened, and I feared they wouldn’t take it well. Ultimately, he encouraged me to be honest with them, so I called my mum and sister to share the news.
Telling my family
Explaining the concept of Nikah, an Islamic wedding ceremony that is simple and quick, was challenging. My family is unfamiliar with Islam in general so they interpreted the Nikah as just an engagement, as legally (by the country law) we were not a married couple. My grandmother, in particular, struggled to accept that I was marrying a Muslim, which led to a couple of days of crying. It was painful to see how Islam is often misunderstood in the non-Muslim world, but eventually, things calmed down. I felt bad for my husband because the poor guy never met my family and he already had to face this drama which I can imagine must have been hurtful to some extent. Alhamdulillah for his patience! Now, my grandma adores him, even speaks to him in Czech, believing that if she speaks veeeeeeeryyyyy sloooooooooooowly, he’ll understand.
Planning the Nikah: Simplicity and Significance
With the family informed, we turned our attention to the Nikah ceremony itself. Since none of my close family or friends could attend, I preferred a small, intimate gathering. My husband’s parents suggested holding the ceremony at home, just as my Shahadah had been. I have to say it was a relief for me, I don’t like being the center of attention, plus I get emotional about other people’s weddings who I don’t even know so imagine my own. I’ll be crying two hours prior to the ceremony 🙂
We had nine people, including us. At this point THE Sunday is around the corner and I have nothing to wear. I was so overwhelmed by it all, I couldn’t think straight. I told my husband that I would wear whatever was appropriate. I’m a very simple person, I don’t like extravagant clothing, shiny stuff, or bright colors. In the end, I borrowed a black dress with a gold pattern from my sister-in-law and paired it with a black scarf. Simple, understated, and exactly my style. I feel the most comfortable in dark colors, which is the complete opposite of Asian clothing. Anyway, I borrowed my sister-in-law a black dress with a gold pattern on it and wore a black scarf. Easy. Simple. Done.
The Nikah Ceremony: Nerves and Laughter
I had prepared myself for taking Shahadah, but the Nikah ceremony was different. I had watched a few videos online, but knowing that our ceremony would be at home with only a few people present made me too nervous to research further. I asked my husband what I was supposed to do, but his response was far from reassuring. “I don’t know; I’ve never been married before!” he said. Thanks, that’s good to know, but it is not exactly helpful.
When I asked him for the fifth time, I could see he was getting annoyed, and honestly, he seemed a bit nervous himself—which I found adorable. So, naturally, I couldn’t resist teasing him a bit more. But then he cut me off with, “Lucie, just calm down and go with the flow!” EHH??? GO WITH THE FLOW??? Really? Is that what you want? Because if I do that, I’ll embarrass both of us—unintentionally, of course. And, well, that’s exactly what happened. I’m still cringing about it to this day! But I’ll save that story for next time 😉
Embracing the Journey
The path from Shahadah to Nikah was filled with unexpected challenges and moments of joy. It was a whirlwind of emotions, cultural adjustments, and new beginnings. While the process was overwhelming at times, it also brought a sense of peace and fulfillment as I embarked on this new chapter of my life. And while there were a few bumps along the way, like any good story, the journey was worth every step. Stay tuned for the next part, where I’ll share more about the Nikah ceremony and the lessons I learned along the way.